Tag Archives: drinking

#13 Hooking Up

Imagine this scenerio:

You and your buds are at a party. You’re probably drinking Coors Light, or depending on the region Bud Light or PBR, and waiting for you turn to play beer pong. All of a sudden this 18 year-old 110 pound vixen crosses your line of sight.

What do you do?

Well, if you are typical college student you think “I want to put my penis in that” and go talk to her.

Hooking up is strictly a college pnenomenon. In high school you live with your parents, and if you are having sex, it happens at random points during the day when parents are gone (like 3pm). Once out of college, you really can’t hook up like you did when you were in school because it’s time to grow up and stop being a slut. College students hook up because they are finally out on their own and able to bring anyone home they choose without dealing with their parents.

Hooking up can be associated with some problems though. Such as when your roomate brings someone home and proceeds to hook up with them in the loft above you. That’s not nice. Not to mention transmissal of STDs. And there’s always the awkward bumping into former hook ups at the worst time and place, such as 2 years later when you are out with your new boyfriend/girlfriend (who you probaby met as a hook up too…)

But most importantly… college students hook up beause they can use the “I WAS SOOOOOO DRUNK!!!” excuse if any hook up comes back to haunt them. (that’s also how they justify it half the time as well)


#5 Beer Pong

beerpong.jpg American’s have Football, Australians have Cricket, the rest of the world has Soccer… college students have Beer Pong! Ask any college student and they will agree beer pong should become an Olympic game. Since it isn’t, some make their own “Beer Olympics” with beer pong, the beer bong, and flip cup. Go into any Fraternity house and you will see a wonderfully crafted custom beer pong table. In college houses, the garage’s sole purpose is to house the beer pong table, not to store cars. Beer pong is more important than cars.

The rules of beer pong can vary depending on the region it is being played, it is even called Beirut at some Ivy League conferences, but the main idea remains the same.

1. There is a long table; ping-pong tables are used most frequently.
2. There are 10 cups on either end of the table arranged in a triangle each filled about halfway full with beer.
3. Generally, the game is played in teams of two where each player throws one of two ping-pong balls into the one of the opponents’ cups. Once the two balls are on the opponent’s side it is their turn to throw.
a. One ball in the cup means the opponent drinks that cup of beer.
b. Two balls in means the opponent drinks three cups of beer.
4. The winners are the team who makes the other team drink all their cups of beer.

Now there are some very specific rules and variations to be aware of:

If the ball bounces on the table the other team can swat it away. Some do not allow the elbow of the thrower to cross the edge of the table, so not to give them an unfair advantage.

If the ball hits the cup but does not go in the other team just takes a drink.

If the ball goes in but swirls around the edge of the cup and has not dropped into the beer yet, the other team can “blow” on it to get it out of the cup (Note: some conferences only allow girls to blow… well because girls blow and guys don’t).

Teams are also able to ask the other team to re-arrange their cups to form a more appealing triangle, but rules on this vary extremely from conference to conference.

Make sure to understand all the rules before entering a tournament because once the ball is thrown it’s on and there aren’t any instant replays. Someday beer pong will get the athletic recognition it deserves, but for now it still holds its place as the most amazing college sport in the US.

#1 Fake IDs

College students like to drink. A lot. But due to the fact most people enter college at 18, they are not legally able to purchase alcohol for another 3 years. Thus, the popularity of fake ids.

In every dorm there are two very important people to know.

The first being that guy who knows a guy that makes fake ids. Though uneccessary to become friends with this individual, it is important to meet him. Unfortunately, the craftsmanship of these fake ids will be very poor, will probably be from some random state like Rhode Island, and will cost you about $100 (McLovin anyone?).

The next very important person to know is the one guy/girl with an awesome fake id that always works. This person will probably be the most popular individual in the dorm because everyone will need them to buy their drinkables for them every weekend (or weekday). So of course this person will know exactly what is going on all over town at any point of the evening. Word to the wise: do not overuse this person though, they will become tired of going to the liquor store for you every week unless they are not repaid by a) free booze, b) weed, or c) sexual favors. Or you can just invite them to whatever party you are going to.

One last important thing to note:

The easiest form of a fake id (especially guys with facial hair) is just using your sibling’s old id. You already kind of look like the person, you know all the information on the card, and your appearance is easily altered so you don’t necessarily have to be the spitting image of the picture