Tag Archives: pseudo-intellectual

#8 Stereotypical Social Groups

Once in college, college students are able to find friends that are exactly like they are.  These stereotypical homogeneous social groups vary in characteristics, but are most likely seen on all college campuses in one way or another.


The first are the Hippies (sometimes known as Trustafarians). 


In high school, most of these now Hippies probably smoked weed and listened to Phish, but also wore Abercrombie and the Gap.  Once in college they found all the other people that smoke weed and listen to Phish and all simultaneously traded their “preppy” clothes for ones made of hemp, bought chacos, smoked a bowl, and grew dreads.  Although they join their local university’s Save The ___insert environmentally threatened subject___ group, they can also be seen driving their Expeditions four blocks to class.


The next stereotypical social group are the Wannabe Emo Band Members.


With the exception of maybe 3, most emo bands completely suck.  But since the whole genre is based on not being able to sing or play instruments well, many geeky college students can become instantly cool by becoming Emo.  They don’t even have to be in a band, although it does up your indie cred, they just need to look the part.  Instead of practicing the guitar or keyboards, these Wannabe Emo Band Members will most likely be seen smoking cigarettes on the stoop of some eclectic coffee shop having pseudo-intellectual conversations.  And though their parents pay their tuition and rent, they feel the need to live like a starving musician, possibly dumpster diving for food and picking up cigarette butts off the ground to get one or two puffs out of (also increases their indie cred).


The last and definitely the most dominant are the Greeks.


These are the cool kids from high school that always new they were cooler than everyone else, but couldn’t admit it because then no one would vote them as Homecoming Queen or come to their graduation party.  Now in college where only Political Science dorks ran for anything important they can flex their coolness-muscles and join a Fraternity or Sorority.  Greeks like this because a) they can choose who gets in, b) everyone that gets in are just like them, and c) they never have to deal with non-greeks (unless they are stuck with them on a class project).  Greeks love being greek because it is just like high school; dances, clubs, Homecoming, etc.  But now they can let everyone on campus know how great they are.


By maybe their junior year of college, students will usually get over what ever stereotypical social group they have joined and return to their normal ways.  Maybe they need to cut their dreads to get an internship, keep growing out of those damn skinny jeans, or simply realize whatever group they have joined is not their life and just move on.   


#4 Coffee Shops

beancycle.jpgCollege kids love coffee, not only that, they NEED coffee to survive. Most can’t function in class without their daily drip and don’t mind being late in order to get their fix. Unless they invest in their own coffee maker or espresso machine (very unlikely), college students go to coffee shops. Though many people aside from college students like coffee shops, for many college students they become part of their daily routine. I’m not sure if it’s the aroma from roasted espresso beans, stimulating conversations, or simply just an excuse get tweaked on caffeine and do homework; but the local coffee shop is often the college student’s home away from dorm.

One might assume that all coffee shops serve the same purpose, but they’re wrong. College students are very picky when it comes to the coffee shops they frequent. Some might even be a regular at several different ones depending on the particular situation.

There are the quiet Starbucksesque establishments purely for students to study at while sipping their double-nonfat-half-caff-caramel-vanilla-latte with whip. Norah Jones (or other such mellow folksinger) is typically playing softly in the background while absolutely NO conversation is going on. If two middle-aged ladies suddenly come in for their weekly chit chat they are immediately given the stink-eye-glare by every table and forced to leave due to the awkwardness.

Then there are the funky and lively art coffee houses where no studying whatsoever can ever take place. You would be too distracted by the newest crop of Jack Keroacs next to you having pseudo-intellectual conversations as well as loud, sometimes abrasive, music playing while someone is hovering over you trying to hang a painting. On a Friday night you might find a slam poetry session, eight chess games, and possibly a drug overdose occurring simultaneously. Don’t ever think to come study here, the regulars will give you the nasty “Why don’t you go back to Starbucks? You’re sucking up all the cool!” look.

Somewhere in the middle are the casual “meet up after yoga” or maybe before a frizbee game “coffee shops.” I used quotations because most of the clientele will be drinking some sort of tea, mate, smoothies, or some other non-caffinated drink concoction while spouting “Caffeine’s a drug, man…” and then rolling another joint. Often a meeting place for grassroots organizations such as “Legalize It,” “Save Our Open Spaces,” and “Take Back the Whitehouse!” These are nice places for those usually ridiculed by the Greeks on campus to find a sense of community. Also great places to score herb