Tag Archives: theft

#12 Freebies

College kids like free stuff like fat people like food. They know they don’t necessarily need it, but it’s there so why not? Posters, food, stickers, water bottles, etc. If it’s free they’ll take it. Heck, they’ll even sign up for a credit card as long as they get a free XXL t-shirt that says “COLLEGE” or “Philly Blunts.”

The reason college students love anything free is because they have no idea when their parents will cut them off and they will have to completely support themselves. So because they are resourcefull, they start hoarding free stuff right off the bat in preparation for when they have to support themselves. They can’t afford to do that now, and assume they won’t be able to afford it when the time comes either. This is also why college students steal forks, cups, plates, and other eating supplies from the dorm cafeteria. Once they move off campus they will need these things, have never bought them before, so instead of going to Target to get their own, they get them for free. I’ve been to lots of college houses where their entire cabinets are filled with stuff from the dorms the year before. That’s why they also go bonkers for free clothes, even if it’s about 5 sizes too large. In the future they’ll need clothes, so why not sign up for that credit card and get that shirt? I’ve also known college students who steal toilet paper from the dorms and hold on to it for a year until they move off campus.

College students will also do almost anything for free food as well. This may mean joining a club, attending a speech, or asking freshmen to use their guest swipes at the cafeteria. I guess their rationale is “If you don’t pay for food, you have more money for beer!” Hey, it’s logical.